For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
