Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
