I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
