i don't like sucking hair
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just gift wrapped bread.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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