I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We left the knife in your bed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
