Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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