I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
