every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
