and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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