We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
