So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
