i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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