so let's talk penis.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
