Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
tell me about the eggs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
