I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
