I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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