:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
