why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
