Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
