I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
