Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
