And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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