I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
