If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
