hell yes lets make some ravioli
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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