That's intense
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
