i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
