i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
