you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
