youre lurking in front of me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
