I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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