I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
