I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
