walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
