Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
