When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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