I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
