May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
