id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
