My nipple is on Facebook.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
