I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
