Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
