I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
