somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
her vagine was all disorganized.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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