After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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