I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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