he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
