we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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