Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
