Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
